How To Make An Atheist Feel Awkward
aesir911
Published
07/26/2016
These are situations that nonbelievers cringe over.
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1.
When people pray before meals and you sit there wondering what you should do. You really don’t want to seem disrespectful but you also really don’t want to pray. -
2.
When people assume you’re actually evil since you don’t have “religious morals” to fall back on. So wait there are actual evil people walking the streets but if I don’t believe in anything then suddenly I’m the one that’s morally reprehensible? -
3.
And when people give a list of terrible people to explain why being non-religious is bad. Every religion has good people. Every religion has bad people. That’s the human race for you. Just because I don’t believe in anything doesn’t mean I’m suddenly a despot. -
4.
When you accidentally let “Jesus Christ” or “Oh my fucking god” slip in front of a really religious person. Just try to play it off. -
5.
When you’re on a first date and they say, “I’m looking for a nice, [insert religion here] person.” *backs slowly out of your chair, out the door, into a car, to the airport, to another continent* -
6.
When you go home for the holidays and you’re constantly reminded by your religious family that you’re…different. -
7.
You’re just constantly reminded ALL THE TIME. -
8.
Because your parents might ask if you “still” don’t believe in anything. Yeah, sorry, nothing has changed since yesterday. -
9.
And sometimes they’ll force you to go to a house of worship. After years of arguing, it’s kind of easier just to go along with everything. -
10.
‘Cause you know what, they will probably never stop trying to change your mind. We’ll see if they ever let it go. -
11.
When people post what seems like every single scripture from the Bible on Facebook, and you wonder if you need to hit that “unfollow” button. Look, Grandma, I love you. I’ll make sure to comment on your cat photos, but I can’t handle the constant biblical verses superimposed on a photo of the beach. -
12.
When you’re asked, “Where do you think you go after you die?” -
13.
See also: “Well how do you think the world was created? Someone had to start it!” -
14.
And of course being asked, “If you’re not [insert religion here], then what are you?” It’s possible to just not be religious, OK? -
15.
When you try to switch the topic but people keep on pushing. A lot of times you’ll just try to avoid the topic of religion altogether. Unfortunately that’s all some people want to talk about with you. -
16.
When people say “Well the [insert religious doctrine here] says…” in a political debate. Great so now we disagree about the separation of church and state as well! -
17.
And when you enter a room filled with religious iconography. Why do I feel naked? -
18.
When you go to a wedding and it’s the world’s longest religious service. *three hours later* -
19.
And when you’re planning your own wedding and disagree on the religious aspects with your spouse/parents/future in-laws. Do you do you or try to please the parents to stop the screaming? -
20.
Plus, when you start to have kids and everyone suddenly weighs in on what religion you should raise them in. Boundaries — they don’t exist! -
21.
When you like a song and then learn it’s religious. Let’s be real, there are some real bangers out there. -
22.
And when you try to explain that you’re pretty tolerant of all religions — it’s just not right for you. Please don’t hate me just because we don’t believe in the same thing.
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